Take it from an expert, here’s how to get the babes:
1. Show them your T1 lines and your modifications to the Linux kernel — they’ll be very impressed.
2. Grunt when they say anything to you — remember, avoid eye contact at all costs.
3. Never leave your home — any babes worthy of your attention will come knocking on your door.
4. Surf the net for porn, so you know what real women should look like.
5. Test whether they really love you; never, ever shave or shower.
6. Don’t exercise — the weak, pudgy mess that you are will evoke maternal feelings of sympathy.
7. Be their knight in shining armor, help them with their school work/computers — they’ll fall in love with
you instantly.
8. If they talk to you, it means that they love you.
9. Remember, girls always prefer email to real mail.
10. Sitting three seats behind them on the bus is a good start.
11. Become a billioniare — trade money for babes.
12. Write the next, killer software app — your fame will draw them to you.
13. Remember, what’s cool to your geek friends is cool to babes too.
14. Always be practical and logical. Tell her “Why can’t you be more rational?” when she has one of those
moods again.
15. Make them understand that you are more evolved than that hunky football star.
16. Declare that you are homosexual — that never fails to interest them; pounce when guard is down.
17. Babes always go for the stronger man — duke it out over a game of Quake.
18. Write a geeky web page.
19. Use mnemonics to aid communication e.g. Hello == main(){, Goodbye == }
20. Increase your “reproductive fitness” — become the Alpha geek of your pack
21. The woman you’re talking to on the net really is female and most likely a babe — and remember,
cybersex is as good as real sex.
A PLUMBER WAS CALLED TO FIX A PIPE. HE ARRIVED, BANGED ON THE PIPES FOR 15 MINUTES, AND SAID TO THE HOMEOWNER, WELL THAT’LL BE $35. THE HOMEOWNER SAID”THIRTY FIVE DOLLARS!!!!- WHY THAT’S $140 PER HOUR!! I’M A LAWYER AND I ONLY MAKE $100 AN HOUR!!” THE PLUMBER REPLIED, “YEAH, THAT’S WHAT I GOT WHEN I WAS A LAWYER”
The Smiths were dining out when his wife noticed a familiar face at the bar. “Honey,” she said as she pointed the guy out, “That guy at the bar has been drinking like that since I left him seven years ago.” Her husband said, “That’s silly, no one celebrates that much!”
So this woman is at a supermarket and she sees the boxboy while going through the checkout line and she’s hot for him. She’s got to figure out how to let him know. Aha. Her bags are packed and she asks the boxboy if he’ll help her take her bags out to her car. So they’re out on the lot and she says to him, “I have an itchy pussy.” And he replies, “Look lady, you’ll have to point it out, all those Japanese cars look the same to me.”
Two men were walking in the park when they came upon this dog that had bent itself into a weird position and was licking its balls. One man said, “Gee! I wish I could do that.” The other man replied, “I think you better get to be friends first.”
A construction worker came home just in time to find his wife in bed with another man. So he dragged the man down the stairs to the garage and put his penis in a vise. He secured it tightly and removed the handle. Then he picked up a hacksaw. The man, terrified, screamed, “STOP! STOP! You’re not going to cut it off, are you???” The husband said, with a gleam of revenge in his eye, “Nope. You are. I’m going to set the garage on fire.”
A lady sought out a fortune teller. The fortune teller tells her, “Be prepared for widowhood. Your husband will soon die a violent death.” The lady asked, ” Will I be acquitted?”
This is the place where you can put a brief summary of yourself. Or perhaps you have something to be shown off. Your gallery, your own products or affiliates. Anything that come across your mind.
